NEW BEGINNING

One of the greatest books I've read is the ALCHEMIST by Paulo Coelho. It is indeed one of my all time favorites which I never get tired of reading again and again.

I remember the famous line of the king of Salem, to whom Santiago had conversation with in the plaza, and it goes..


"...Everyone, when they are young, knows what their personal legend is, at that point in their lives, everything is possible. they are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives. But, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their Personal Legend... It's a force that appears to be negative, but actually shows you how to realize your Personal Legend. It prepares your spirit and your will, because there is one great truth on this planet; whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it's because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It's your mission on earth. The soul of the World is nourished by people's happiness. And also by unhappiness, envy, and jealousy. To realize one's Personal Legend is a person's only real obligation. All things are one. And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it..."

Now, I am in the point of my life in which I finally have have to realize and look for my Personal Legend. It is my one of my prime purpose in this world. And at this point in time, I have come to realize that seeking my Purpose in life is what will truly make me happy.

I am like Santiago in my own story, I have to discover the hidden treasure which God has in store for me. I started my journey long time ago and will continue to persue the fate that is designed for me to track down from the very beginning of my life. In every stages of my journey, I have met many people which I truly considered a blessing for they have helped me mold my character and I'll forever be thankful to them. Nevertheless, I have to make one step further with a bag of courage with me in order to fulfill my desire. I have to keep convincing myself that it is trully possible to for me to realize my Personal Legend if I am strong enough to face the challenge. I just hope that all the universe will conspire to help me achieve it.

-wink!

Totally BURNT OUT

It's the first day of the month. First day of school here in the Philippines. It should be a fresh start for everyone but for me, I haven't gotten any better since the year started. It seems that my feet are stuck in my cubicle the whole five months without pulling through for worthwhile activities.
It's funny to think back when I was still a student wishing that time would run fast so that I would get the hell out of overwhelming workload in school. But now that I am already working and earning my own bucks, it makes me ponder how postgraduate life completely changed me. Now, how I wish I will wake up one day worrying nothing but the quizzes in major subjects. I never realize how I truly miss my college life until I saw my cousin preparing her things and getting ready for a new school year to start.
Before, I kept on complaining about being bombarded with lots of homework at the same time cramming for a long exam the next day. However, when I started to work, I found out that it is more stressful to work on things alone in my cubicle (which I call my blue box) with cameras watching my every move and people appraising my performance which sometimes lead me to being too edgy.
Nevertheless, when I was still in a big classroom, wearing my persian blue and white uniform, with 45 of us in the same room, I gain fulfillment for every good works that had been done. There was genuine camaraderie and true companionship that brought out the best of me. Now, I guess, money can't buy personal fulfillment. It's no longer the enthusiasm that makes me get up in my bed early morning but the responsibility that I am bound to as long as I am contracted with the company.
I still crave for more knowledge and wisdom which I think I cannot seek in the small space I have in what I often call aquarium. Perhaps I can only gain more understanding if I set myself free into a bigger world outside ENC/1on1.
I know I'll be missing my job and as well as the people whom I consider friends now -- my students and my officemates.

downslope

This past few days I lived life rustically.

I think I am very stressful right now. There were so many stressors I had come across with this past few days. Nevertheless, I am still alive, yet physically battered with adverse effects.

Just this morning, I had taken another analgesic to relieve my headache. But now, at this very moment, I can feel the pain creeping up in my head again. I am slightly febrile, so probably paracetamol will come chasing after me. But I really hate the feel of a pill drowning down my throat. What I really want to do now is to go back home and spend the whole afternoon in the comfort of my own bed. However, there's nothing I can do but to stay in my gray and blue cubicle until the clock ticks 4:30 pm OR to pretend that I'm about to faint so they can call a taxi to take me home. I think I'll choose my first option but I'll make my choice a better one - that is I'll stay in my gray and blue cubicle, make use of it as a small sleeping compartment and wait until 4:30 pm. Not perfect but helpful though.

I can no longer wait for tomorrow to come because it's my only chance to kick back and relax. I always glorify Thursday because it's the only time in a week when I am bestowed with true serenity.